Taming the Bully Between Your Ears-Interview With Author Jeannie Cisco-Meth

Jeannie Cisco-Meth www.JeanieCiscoMeth.com www.BullyProofingYou.com

Bullying on the playground or at work evolves from previous internal bullying of yourself explained Jeannie Cisco-Meth, author of “Bully Proofing You” to Lon June 13, 2018.  Bullying yourself is the voices in your head that tells you “You Can’t Do That,” and is basically beating up on yourself or doubting your abilities.  It also prevents you from achieving your life mission Cisco-Meth continued.  Listen to Jeannie and Lon discuss the evolution of her thinking  about bullying over the last few years which is an intriguing insight into the dynamics of the bullying we see in everyday life.

Cisco-Meth has been very successful writing and doing presentations around the country discussing bullying, what it is and how to help.  In this discussion she provides a unique insight in that she sees the critical self-talk we do to ourselves is the same as the playground or work place bullying we see around us.  -Lon

Transcript

Lon Woodbury: Well good morning this is Lon Woodbury, and I have Jeannie Cisco-Meth on the line today.  Good morning Jeannie? How are you today?

Jeannie Cisco-Meth: I am fabulous thank you for having me here today I appreciate it

Lon Woodbury: Well today is June 13th 2018 and Jeannie is the author of an Amazon’s bestselling book ‘ Bully Proofing you’ so today were going to be talking about her next upcoming book that’s still in the process of editing titled ‘’Taming the bully between your ears.’’ Her new book is now in the final editing stage so lets talk about that. It is intriguing because the title seems to imply that almost everybody is, and can be a bully, is that what you have in mind with that title?

Jeannie Cisco-Meth: Yeah, I believe that everybody has this little voice that lives between their ears that stops them from reaching their potential and their greatness. And it can sound like different people in your life.  Sometimes I hear my mom, sometimes I hear my dad, sometimes I hear my English teacher but its that voice that says, ‘’ you can’t do it because you’re too tall, too short, too old, you’re too young, you’re too to fat, you’re too skinny”  – whatever,  it’s that voice that raises all those negative comments when you want to start something or do something different, or make a change

Lon Woodbury: I’ve heard the term monkey mind.

Jeannie Cisco-Meth: Yes

Lon Woodbury: Or self-criticism or chattering in your ear, it’s what covers what the new testament has talked about as – Saint Paul talked about that ‘still small voice’ you can’t possibly hear when this chattering is going on and that’s what you’re talking about

Jeannie Cisco-Meth: Exactly

Lon Woodbury: You’re beating up on yourself, you are bullying yourself.

Jeannie Cisco-Meth: Yeah

Lon Woodbury: intriguing, well what are some of the main ideas that you have in your- that you are talking about in your book the – ‘’Taming the Bully between Your Ears’’

Jeannie Cisco-Meth: This book was a little bit more difficult for me to write, because it was my personal journey and the things that had happened to me, to create my ‘bully between my ears’, and how I went about taming it.  So, the common element between it and ‘bully proofing you’ is personal value of belief in self, that looking at obstacles as a strength building exercise instead of an, “I’m not good enough exercise” and so definitely that personal value and that perspective is in there just the same as it was in my first book. It’s just that its more personal stories about my obstacles and what I had to overcome so that I could write and become a professional speaker.  So, belief in self and understanding that you are unique and special, and you were created for a purpose. I really want to drive that point home to so many people, this universe is made up of a very intricate fabric and each one of us weaves our stories into it. And if by some catastrophe we don’t live up to our potential or we stop creating our stories, that tapestry is forever changed and it can never be altered, and so my mission in this is to help people find their mission, their purpose and then not allow anything to stop them including themselves.

Lon Woodbury: okay, that sounds like an evolution of your thinking, how long ago did you release ‘Bully Proofing You’? How long ago was that when it hit the stands?

Jeannie Cisco-Meth: It came out in March 2014

Jeannie Cisco-Meth: It’s been a couple of years now, yeah

Lon Woodbury: Yeah okay so the difference that I’m seeing is ‘Bully Proofing You’ was talking about the people that bully others so the focus was sort of outer, and this one, the ‘Taming the Bully Between your Ears’, is bringing the focus internal in specifics. If your internal is an example of what other people have to overcome right?

Jeannie Cisco-Meth: yes Exactly, yeah exactly

[00:05:00]

Lon Woodbury: okay

Jeannie Cisco-Meth: it’s very difficult as well because it’s very personal, it’s my personal stories, about growing up and about being bullied as a young kid, about being bullied in high school and overcoming all of my learning disabilities so that I could graduate, when they told me I never would – I was too stupid. And it’s about the fact that I realised now that I’m older looking back, hindsight is always 20-20. I realised that those struggles made me into the person I am today, and I have gotten to a space of gratitude for them because they helped me build the muscles to deal with obstacles that are coming up now, you know bulling is no longer just on the playground, It happens everywhere and the problems that I see with today’s society is that people think, ‘’well all just get a bigger stick’’, and, ‘’I will retaliate!’’ and that is causing death and mayhem all across our country -all across our world! And it has got to stop! And this is my contribution to helping end the pain, and helping people heal because as you know I constantly say, ‘’ Hurt people, hurt people’’, and they either lash out and hurt others or they hurt themselves

Lon Woodbury: yeah

Jeannie Cisco-Meth: And so, this book is my answer to that. Our society is very- you look at our laws its very much punishment oriented, just like you referred to, and if somebody does something you don’t like, you’re likely to want to make them pay. You know there is an old saying, ‘’don’t get mad get even’’.

Lon Woodbury: okay that is part of what you are talking about. Okay so you have really expanded the scope of what in your view is this whole question of bullying, and it probably implies that the bullying that we see in the playground or in the work place is started with some internal, bullying of yourself or when you get back at people.

Jeannie Cisco-Meth: yeah

Lon Woodbury: it sounds like you are getting people to the root of the problem

Jeannie Cisco-Meth: yes! I believe I am, I believe I have figured out the root of the problem, at least my perspective of the root of the problem. and it definitely goes back to allowing other people to define your value! You know when somebody calls you a name and you’re taking that label on, you don’t have to! you can peel that label off! we do an exercise in my speaking engagements in my events that drives that home very, very clearly! Just because someone calls you a name does not mean, that you have to accept it, and the most important thing is for you to decide your value, you decide who you are instead of allowing other people to define and decide who you are!

Lon Woodbury: And you don’t even have to react to it!

Jeannie Cisco-Meth: No, it’s about being proactive instead of reactive, and its not about what happens to you its about how you react to it.  My first book ‘Bully Proofing You’ starts with a quote from Victor Franco and how the ability to choose between stimulus and response there is a space, and in that space is a power to choose. and so, when someone calls me a name, I have a space before I react, before I choose how to react, and its looking at that space and deciding what is best for me and what is best for them, and the ability to tame that bully between our ears and say, ‘’thanks for sharing, it’s not what I want to do right now it’s what I want to do to help this person, I want to reach out, they are in pain how can I help them?’

Lon Woodbury: And it also has a lot of strong implications on the whole idea of ego! Because when typically, if something happens to you and you react with the thinking, ‘’how dare you do that to me ill show them!’’

Jeannie Cisco-Meth: Right,

Lon Woodbury: and part of the taming is just common ego and saying that makes no difference, you’re not what they say, you don’t have to teach them a lesson you can just go on with your life and ignore it and not react to it. That’s your proactiveness.

Jeannie Cisco-Meth: Yeah, exactly

Lon Woodbury: well you say you used some examples in your book, and they’re personal and there are some that you would like to share now anything that caused you to think of it this way? This expanded way?

Jeannie Cisco-Meth: Yeah, I will share the first, as I was putting my book together I started going back and saying, ‘’Ok where did this idea really start I don’t believe in explosive epiphanies, I believe in the slow hunt that result in the epiphanies you know so, it goes back to a story when I was a high school teacher and I realised that people see things differently! And I was standing in the door of my classroom welcoming students to the classroom and a student was walking down the hall and another student called him a name, and in my opinion, it wasn’t as devastating a name as it could have been.

[00:10:00]

Lon Woodbury: He could have even been joking

Jeannie Cisco-Meth: It was just a couple of boys who knew each other goofing off, but this student was devastated by it, absolutely devastated by it! And I was like, ‘wait what happened here? What went wrong?’ and so that was in the back of my mind and then later that day another student was walking down the hall, and a student said something to him – to me it was atrocious! I had all kinds of triggers for me and so I asked him, ‘’hey are you okay/’’ he was like, ‘‘that guy is just an idiot’’ and so I asked myself the question, ‘’What’s the difference? What’s the difference between the first student and the second student and I started digging in and dong research and I spent about the next six months interviewing students, listening to students, writing, doing questionnaires and stuff and I found that it was that belief in self, it was that personal value and that a student who didn’t have any personal value, was devastated by the comments because he allowed that other person to define who he was, while as the student who was not bothered at all, had already decided who he was. and so, someone else saying something to him didn’t impact him.  And I illustrate that point in my engagements by asking people when I’m on stage, ‘’how do you like my purple dress’’? And I don’t wear a purple dress. and they’ll look at me kind of funny, and I said exactly, when you know you wear a red dress or a black & white dress or whatever, somebody calling you a purple dress does not affect you

Lon Woodbury: Okay that’s intriguing, and so you put that into the whole root as basis for bullying and a lot of other things.

Jeannie Cisco-Meth: Yes absolutely, I always experience it in the fact that I want to start something new, I want start a new book or start a speaking engagement.  We spoke at the Wolstein arena, not too long ago and, I got to share the stage with Sarah Palin, Candy Christen, Karen  Bond – quite a few big name women and as I’m sitting in the green room watching them go up, in their suits, standing behind the podium with their notes and lecture, I was like, ‘’that’s not me!’’ And so I started bullying myself and then I realised, ‘’wait a minute Jeannie, you were invited here for a reason’’, and so I was able to bully proof myself in that moment and I went out and delivered just an incredible moment and it is now out on the internet and the energy – I did not know all this until later, but the energy in that arena and that stadium, jumped about 100 points and so it’s just incredible to be able to show up as me! Authentically me because that’s who I am, and it was just a great point!

Lon Woodbury: Okay, that’s a good example

Jeannie Cisco-Meth: I have professional speaking engagements that I do. I work with youth groups and schools as well as businesses, to help them create a respectful workplace. I also have a podcast and a newsletter, you can go to www.JeanieCiscoMeth.com or www.BullyProofingYou.com and find out a little bit about me, and what I’ doing and what is going on.

Lon Woodbury: Very good and if somebody wants to contact you what would be the best way to do it?

Jeannie Cisco-Meth: The best way would be my website either www.JeanieCiscoMeth.com or www.BullyProofingYou.com. There is a contacts form on there and that comes directly to my team and we will get back to you quickly.

Lon Woodbury: Alright well, very good. This is Lon Woodbury with the Woodbury Report. and we have been talking with Jeannie Cisco-Meth, she’s the author of ‘Bully Proofing You’ and she talked about the title of the next upcoming book which is still on the editing process ‘Taming the Bully between Your Ears,’  a very intriguing insight. Thank you very much Jeannie!

Jeannie Cisco-Meth: Thank you so much for having me its been an absolute pleasure!

[End of Transcription 00:15:20]

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